Are you 60? Do you know it?

I've heard a few kids around the neighbourhood singing a song by LMFAO called Sexy and I Know It. I guess it was inevitable, sitting in the kitchen, I hear Jonah sing with great conviction and garbled enunciation "I'm sexy and I know it". This is the conversation as I recall it:
Me: ooh, Jonah. easy. don't sing that song.
J: huh! why Dad?
M: (uh oh, do I really want to do this) umm, because... umm.
J: (interrupting, as per) why Dad, WHY?
M: its CRUDE, Jonah. Its an adult song, not for younger kids to be singing. they're singing about adult stuff. Where did you hear it? Did you know a kid got expelled for singing it in a school cafeteria (for real, I don't make stuff up! read it on CNN. over-reaction, imo)?
J:WHAT?!? kicked OUT OF SCHOOL?!? wow. Its xxxx's favorite song. Is he going to get kicked out of school?? wow.
M: (oh boy) probably not, we are pretty liberal here. don't sing it ok.
Jonah thinking for a few moments, thousand yard stare...
J: I think I know why its so bad. Maybe people are singing and making fun of people who are sixty... that could be pretty mean.
M: yessir, that would be pretty mean alright.
-diversion time - Is that a fox outside?? right there, look!

No wonder he was confused, one minute singing about being 60 and knowing it, the next on the brink of expulsion from school. The world is truly a confusing place, good thing he has a father that is so totally clued in and armed with wise answers, eh?

ABC Gum - the best kind

While Jonah was playing ball hockey tonight, I sat in the stands and Nate ran around the arena playing Power Rangers and making friends. He likes to challenge all the little kids to a foot race. I can see the top of his head as he makes his way around the boards, huffing and puffing, calmly adjusting his glasses when they fall out of place.

Toward the end of the hour, I noticed him pulling his gum out of his mouth and stretching it. It must feel really cool, but does not look cool at all.  I told him to stop doing it, because his hands are dirty, bacteria, virus, flesh eating disease, yada yada.  A few minutes later I see him doing it again. "Gross" I say, "did I not just tell you to stop doing that?" Nate leans in close to me. "There is something I didn't tell you, Dad. Its like a secret." He paused for a second, then said very quietly, almost in a whisper, "I got it off the floor!" I told him I thought it was very gross, and he had to spit it out in the garbage. "Why, Dad, I cleaned all the dirt out of it. Its fine." We go to the garbage can, I point and say, "In there. spit!" I turn around, Nate has his mouth wide open and it is empty. "It's gone, Dad." Suspicious, I say, "Where? where did it go?" Large smile, crooked glasses, bright blues eyes, he pats his tummy and replies cheerfully, "right here, i swallowed it." Let's hear it for ABC gum.

Nate's First Joke

Nate told us his first joke at the dinner table tonight. Cutting through the dull roar that is the soft ambiance came a loud voice.
N - excuse me guys. excuse me?
someone said go ahead, we are all listening.
N - Mommy (looking at Leah), why did the, umm, why did the chicken cross to the other, umm, side of the playground??? heheheh.
all of us - ahh, umm, we don't know, please tell us.
N - to get to another slide. hahaha.
Leah - haha, that's cute Nate. (thinking he said 'to the other side')
I ask Leah if she got the joke. She says she thinks she did, but maybe is not really sure now. I tell her its a play on words, its to get to the OTHER SLIDE.
N - NO DAD! its to get to ANOTHER SLIDE.

So, his first little joke was cute but didn't bring the house down. We would have to be actually listening first.